Goals for 2015

The gals of Another Mother Runner encouraged their tribe to put their goals for 2015 into the universe.  By taking the time to create clear, measurable goals, one has a much greater chance for achieving them.  I make internal goals quite regularly, but I rarely write them down.  The commitment - and risk of failure - that comes with putting dreams into written words feels like too much pressure for this recovering perfectionist.

I'm taking the leap, however, and writing down concrete goals for the coming year.  And I'm leaping even further by posting them here.  I focused on goals that would help me as a runner but also as a wife/mother/friend/human being.  I limited my list to three.  Many more would feel overwhelming; fewer would not pose enough of a challenge.  So here they are, my goals for 2015:

1.  Train wisely for the GO! St. Louis marathon: Arrive at the starting line healthy and happy; cross the finish line upright and smiling.
2.  Remove both mental and physical clutter: Discover what matters and truly focus on it; let go of the rest.
3.  Embrace the journey - and the suck: It won't always be pretty or easy or fun; sometimes it will suck.  Do it anyway!!

I'm looking forward to the challenge of these goals and to discovering new things about myself as I work to tackle them.  What are your goals for 2015?

Not So Sweet Six

For some reason, six mile runs are not my friend.  They feel short enough that I don't spend much time preparing for them mentally, but they are long enough that I can't really fake them.  My fueling strategies are challenged.  Miles three and four just drag on forever.  Why do they taunt me so?

Six miles has really always been my nemesis.  When I first started ramping up my mileage in 2012, I plateaued around six mile long runs for several weeks.  I just couldn't get over the hump - mentally more so than physically.  I finally broke through, but it took a concerted effort.  And six continues to taunt me today.  This very day, in fact, I found myself facing my old foe six.

It was a dreary morning, and no part of me wanted to leave my warm bed at 5:45 to get ready for my run.  I nearly convinced myself to postpone the run until tomorrow, but dreary as it was, today's weather looked more promising than tomorrow's, so I forced myself out the door.

My new AMR gear: the one bright spot in today's run.

The run started off fine enough.  I was happy to be outside and to have a few moments to myself.  I quickly discovered, however, that I was not such a fun person to be around.  I was inexplicably crabby, feeling annoyed with the weather (not quite rain but not quite not rain) and tired of dodging ankle-deep puddles.  I was listening to a fabulously upbeat and positive podcast featuring the incredible Olympian and mother runner Deena Kastor, yet I couldn't stop myself from spiraling further into a funk.

Around mile four, I challenged myself to finish with negative splits, an attempt to salvage something useful from the gloomy morning.  That idea changed my mental focus enough that I could (finally!) settle into the run.  And I did it!  I managed to finish with a strong effort and completed the run with picture-perfect negative splits.

All's well that ends well, but I hope I can improve my relationship with that number which is afraid of seven (you know the joke, right?).  I have many midweek six's on deck in this training cycle, and I certainly don't want to suffer through each of them the way I suffered through today's run.  Is there any particular distance that taunts you?  How do you power through those tough runs?

Inspiration from a BQ'er

I love that running gives me a chance to draw inspiration from others.  I love to watch other runners work hard, push their boundaries, and strive relentlessly towards a goal.  I become deeply invested in their training and seeing their successes feels almost as thrilling as accomplishing my own goal.  I thrive on the team spirit and sense of camaraderie we share as we constantly work to better ourselves one mile at a time.  While watching their efforts (through blogs, Strava, and Twitter), I am inspired to set my own big, scary goals and set out to accomplish them. 

Because of SBS and other strong women, I have the courage to dream big.

One of my favorite running bloggers, Sarah Bowen Shea of Another Mother Runner, set out on Sunday to run a Boston-qualifying time at the Victoria Marathon.  She shared her training with us through various media, and as a result, an enormous tribe of mother runners sat glued to their devices cheering for her as she pushed herself 26.2 miles through beautiful British Columbia.  When I saw that she had nailed her qualifying time, my excitement was off the charts.  I cried happy tears - for a woman I know virtually but not "in real life" - and that feels perfectly normal to me.  After all, I cried when her partner in crime, Dimity McDowell, finished her IronMan race in 2013.  Those mother runners inspired me to first lace up my shoes, which means that I owe them an enormous debt of gratitude.  Doubtless, I'll never be able to do for them what they've done for me, but I can cheer like a crazy woman at their victories and cry happy tears in celebration.

Congrats, SBS, on your hard-earned victory, and thank you for allowing us to share in your journey.  You've inspired me - and countless others - to dream big, aim high, and work tirelessly to make the dream a reality.

My Most Important Mile

My favorite running gurus over at Another Mother Runner invite readers to submit entries for a regular column called "Most Important Mile of My Life."  Last fall, I submitted an entry and was elated that my post aired on their site in November.  My 15 minutes of fame!  You can read the original post on their site, and I'm also reproducing it here.

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I’ve logged many significant miles: the joy of my first double-digit run, running through the frustration of a miscarriage, the terribly wonderful first postpartum run.  But my most important mile came during a 1-mile fun run with my kindergartener earlier this fall.

We were all smiles and excitement at the starting line, but our enthusiasm quickly diminished.  After about .2 miles, he had had enough.  He wanted to quit and kept telling me we were going too fast, even though our pace resembled a slug moving through quicksand.

Tears in his eyes and a forced smile on his face, but he was actually running for a moment.

We spent most of the mile walking with intermittent bursts of running.  "Just run to that tree," I begged him.  But no amount of cheering from me would get his feet moving faster than a shuffle.  I pleaded.  I cajoled.  For whatever reason, his heart was not into it.

With only .1 of a mile to go, he broke down in tears.  I showed him the finish line and promised him bagels and frozen custard after we crossed it, but he couldn't do it.  We sat on the curb crying for a few minutes until he finally regrouped enough to run the last stretch.

It was certainly not the run I had expected, but I learned a great deal about myself as a mother during that (painful, frustrating, slow) mile.  I had to set aside my type A desires and really stop to listen to my son.  That mile was about spending time with him, being patient with his frustrations, and persevering when we both would have preferred heading to the car and going home.

A few minutes after the race, he gave me a big hug and said, "Mommy, even though I cried a lot, I had fun running with you.  Can we do it again?"  

Of course, sweetheart.  Anytime.

Finally finished!

Training Plan Indecision

Emily and I have registered to run the Rock 'n Roll St. Louis half marathon on Sunday, October 19th.  Ever the planner, I'm agonizing over training plan options for the race.  Should we do a 12-week plan or opt for 10- or 16-week versions?  How much speedwork should we include?  Do we need to run 13 miles in training or is 11 miles enough?  Are we best off following a beginning plan or can we move up to intermediate?  I've run one half and Emily has run five, so we're not exactly novices, but the leap from the beginning plans to the intermediate ones looks monumental.  In short, I've spent far too much time perusing options and far too little time tackling my summer organization projects.  (That bathroom closet will just organize itself, right?!)

Shall I admit how long I contemplated options for an image of indecision?

The plan I followed for my first half was put together by Coach Christine Hinton, a mother runner who has created many training plans for the Another Mother Runner tribe.  I liked the variety of the plan and its flexibility.  Each week included speedwork, varying between hills, intervals, and tempo runs, and the long runs often gave a range, which made them feel more achievable from a mental standpoint.  On that plan, I ran four days per week, cross-trained two, and took one day completely off.  This seemed like a good balance for me and one that I'd like to repeat this training cycle.

So if I liked that plan so much, why am I wasting time hemming and hawing over other options?  In part because I just did it and would like to try something new.  But none of the "something new's" are standing out as good options.  I've been surprised to find many plans that don't include step-back weeks.  I'm certainly no expert, but from my research I believe that a sound training principle is to increase mileage by 10% for three weeks and then step back a notch before increasing again.  Surprisingly, many of the plans I've come across don't follow this rule of thumb.

Because I'm being ridiculously picky with the plans that are readily available, I'm considering collecting bits and pieces from multiple plans and Frankenstein-ing my own plan together.  If I follow the structure and mileage increase rules described above, I think I can put a reasonably coherent plan together.  I'll certainly give it a try, and if all else fails, I know I have Coach Christine's brilliant plan as a back-up.  Assuming a 12-week training cycle, we'll plan to get the party started on July 28th.  I'll update with our training plans then.  In the meantime, if you have any suggestions for specific training plans or advice on creating my own plan, I'm all ears!

Inspiration from an IronMother

I love this quote.  It is so scary and overwhelming to take that first step, but you will never know what you can achieve until you have the courage to try.

Earlier today, I read Dimity McDowell's Runner's World feature on her epic IronMother race last summer.  I'm an avid fan of Dimity and her partner in crime Sarah Bowen Shea, the founders of Another Mother Runner.  I followed Dimity's training via their blog, and I vividly remember watching her finish her incredible IronMother journey.  Having tucked my older kids in bed for the night, I snuggled on the couch with my one-month-old baby and streamed the race feed on my iPad.  I was glued to the screen waiting to see her tall frame come down the final stretch.  When her triumphant face filled my view, I cried tears of joy for a woman I'd never met.

I'm sure my husband thought the tears were typical postpartum hormones, and I'm sure hormones played a role, but I still feel choked up today thinking about Dimity's terrific struggle and her ultimate triumph.  As I sat nursing my sleeping baby, I felt awe, excitement, joy, and an overwhelming urge to conquer my own challenge.  So soon after birth, my body was not yet ready to run, but my mind was willing to contemplate future challenges.  The IronMother planted a seed of hope and possibility in my foggy, sleep-deprived brain.

One month later, I laced up my shoes for the first time in 10 months and began the Couch to 5k running program.  It was a run that was simultaneously blissful and painful, empowering and humbling.  Every inch of my body ached during the 60 second run intervals, and I couldn't believe that running would ever feel comfortable again.  While my body screamed in protest, my mind felt free and liberated.  "Smell the fresh air.  Watch the sunrise," it said.  "Enjoy these moments with no one's needs but your own."

In that pre-dawn hour on a muggy July morning, I felt just a taste of Dimity's finish line victory: the aching body and triumphant spirit, the tears of joy and exhaustion, the joy of completing something that felt too difficult to start.  Since that run, I've logged countless miles, and I feel stronger than ever both mentally and physically.  All because an IronMother planted a seed of hope.  Thank you, Dimity, for giving me the courage to dream.

Getting Back in the Game

Well, this was certainly a longer pregnant pause than I ever imagined.  In the 18-ish months since I last posted, I gestated and birthed a baby, returned to running, found an amazing running partner, raced a 5k, 10k, and half marathon, and connected with mother runners all over the country thanks to Another Mother Runner and Strava.  Far too much to discuss in a single post...

I've been nagging myself for months to return to this blog, but as the days since my last post increased, so did my stress about posting again.  What could I possibly say after such an absence?  How could I write the most clever and poignant post ever to make the wait totally worthwhile?  An epic post isn't going to happen, so I will settle for owning my absence and moving on.

I could easily blame my lack of posting on being a busy mom of three.  For a long time, my gut response to the question "How have you been?" is to say "Busy but good."  I hate the word busy, and I'm trying to eradicate it from my brain and my vocabulary.  Life is obviously busy, and it always will be.  I want to retrain myself to answer that inquiry with the succinct but powerful mantra, "Life is good."  So I won't tell you that I've been absent because I've been busy.  You are surely busy too, and in spite of busy-ness, we make time for the things that matter to us.  Instead, I've been absent because I've been swept up in life, and life is good.  I'm back, and I will try my hardest to remain here.

Morning fog along Highway 21 in Lesterville

Last weekend, life was good on our annual family trip to Black River Lodge in Lesterville, MO.  I snuck out early Sunday morning for a run and was serenaded by birds and cows as I ran through a veil of fog.  This picture does not do justice to the peacefulness and beauty of the morning, but it was the best my sweaty fingers and the iPhone camera could manage.  The run was certainly not the easiest of my life, at least partially due to the s'more or two that I enjoyed the night before.  Nevertheless, it was lovely and freeing.  Life is good.

10 Running-Related Personal Questions

I have not yet posted about my profound admiration for the ladies of Another Mother Runner, but I promise, that post is still to come.  Yesterday, however, Sarah invited us to answer 10 questions about ourselves, and as a rule follower, I feel the need to oblige.  You can read Sarah's answers on the AMR blog; Dimity's are to air later this week.  As for me:

1.  Best run ever:  A scenic 6-mile run last April near my parents' wooded cabin.  The weather was gorgeous; the newly green trees beautiful; the views around the lakes breathtaking.  Before this particular day, I had not run much at their cabin, so the sights and sounds were all new to me.  At one point, I came out of a wooded passage, and as I rounded the curve, the view of the sun rising over the lake was nothing short of spectacular.  In fact, I was so inspired by the beauty of the scenery that I hardly noticed the killer hills, though my quads definitely felt their effects the next day.

2.  Three words that describe my running:  Always moving forward.

3.  My go-to running outfit is:  Fairly basic: a pair of Champion running shorts from Target, a wicking shirt, and a headband to keep my hair out of my eyes.  If I'm running in daylight (unusual on these dark fall mornings), I'll wear a hat, too.

4.  Quirky habit while running:  I always end my run at a house near the end of my block with a giant flagpole.  I have no idea why this became a ritual, but now the flagpole always signifies my finish line.

5.  Morning, midday, evening:  Morning is always my first choice.  I love the quiet stillness of the world when most of its occupants are sleeping.  But sometimes life gets in the way, and I sneak in midday treadmill runs while my kids nap or an evening run after my husband gets home from work.  But morning is always best.

6.  I won't run outside when it's: icy.  I'm cool with rain, snow, heat, and humidity, but I refuse to deal with ice, especially since I have a treadmill for those too-icy-to-hit-the-road days.

7.  Worst injury - and how I got over it:  I've only been running for a little over a year, so to date, I've not had to deal much with injury [have I just jinxed myself by saying that aloud?].  When I increased my mileage last spring, however, I found that my calves were extremely tight all the time.  I added in additional post-run stretches - and forced myself to do them after each run - and my muscle pain quickly dissipated.

8.  I felt most like a badass mother runner when:  I completed my first 10-mile run.  I wanted to log a double-digit run before my one year running anniversary, and I did it two weeks ahead of the deadline. One year previously, I could barely run 60 second intervals.  That lovely June day, I rocked 10 miles and felt like a BAMR.

9.  Next race is:  This Saturday (9/15) - a local 5k in the neighborhood in which I grew up.  A hilly course, but I love running those familiar roads.

10.  Potential running goal for 2013:  I hope to toe the line for a half marathon, most likely in the fall.