The Road to 26.2: Weeks 16 and 17

Real life has kept me away from my blog.  My grandmother, who has been battling dementia and other health problems since late-September, had an especially difficult time over the past three weeks.  Her anxiety was high; she was incredibly restless and insecure; she hardly slept; no medicine on the planet gave her any relief from her mounting symptoms.  My sisters, parents, supportive friends, and I took shifts to keep her under constant 24/7 care.  To say the process was exhausting is a vast understatement.

She took a sudden downturn last week, and we knew her remaining days were short.  She suffered greatly in her last days.  We felt helpless with no real ability to lessen her agony, but our presence brought some comfort.  After a grueling 8 days without food (she could no longer swallow), she finally passed away early Tuesday morning.  We are sad for ourselves as we lost an amazing role model and friend, but we're so happy that her pain is over.  After 101 years (and 10 months!), her time on this earth is finished.

With such intense family needs, I'm so grateful that I had entered the taper phase of my training plan.  I can't imagine supporting my mom as much as she needed while also logging serious training miles.  I've had to shorten a few cross-training workouts over the last two weeks, but I've done all my runs and continued with my strength training.  Post-run stretching also took a hit, and I can definitely feel a difference.  I've renewed my commitment to thorough stretching, and I'm pulling out the foam roller nightly.  To catch you up on the last two weeks of workouts:

Week 16:
Monday (3/23):  5 mile run.
Right on the heels of the 20-miler, I was surprised by how good my legs felt.  They were stiff for the first mile or so, but they felt far better than I expected.
Tuesday (3/24):  mini yoga and strength.
An exhausting day as a caregiver, I could only fit in a little workout.  Something is better than nothing, right?
Wednesday (3/25):  4 mile run and strength work.
I fully embraced the taper by sleeping in (all the way until 5:07!).  Even with the later alarm, I still had plenty of time to complete my miles and a bit of strength work before waking up the kids for school.  Tapering rocks!

Thursday (3/26):  5 mile run.
I had intended just to run some easy miles, but my lungs felt healthy and strong for the first time in a month.  I think I've finally beaten that cold that plagued our entire household!  I felt very good through this rainy run and pulled off picture-perfect negative splits.
Friday (3/27):  neighborhood walk and strength work.
Another exhausting day as a front-line caregiver.  I snuck in a brief walk and some strength work in the afternoon, which helped to clear my head.

Glorious sunrise during my long run.
This photo doesn't do justice to the beautiful purple hues;
simply breathtaking.

Saturday (3/28):  12 mile run.
I planned an out-and-back route and couldn't believe how quickly I made it to the turnaround point.  Not that I was running at light speed, but the first 6 miles were over in a flash.  I love that this 12-miler felt like a moderate effort.

Sunday (3/29): REST and mini strength work
Mostly a rest day, but I added a little bit of strength work: squats, planks, glute and core work.

Neighborhood tree week 16: more green grass!

Week 17:
Monday (3/30):  3 mile run plus 3 mile walk with my BRF.
An easy three-miler before meeting up with my BRF for a walk.  A walk with her is always a wonderful start to the week.
Tuesday (3/31):  yoga and strength work.
Seeking peace on an exhausting day through deep breathing and controlled movement.  Not a resounding success, but I did feel somewhat better after the workout.
Wednesday (4/1):  4 mile run.
A highly emotional, teary run as I processed Grandma's death.

Thursday (4/2):  4 mile run.
A rare chance for a weekday run in the daylight, I enjoyed this quick little run before the rain came.
Friday (4/3):  yoga and strength work.
I convinced my husband to join me for part of my yoga!  He may never agree to it again, but I was happy to share the workout with him.

Week 17: an explosion of spring!
If you can look past the sweaty camera lens, you might notice
that several trees in the background flowered this week :)

Saturday (4/4):  8 mile run.
Since I was regularly running weekday 8-milers just a couple weeks ago, this run felt like an easy Saturday effort.  I ran a familiar loop with an engaging podcast and made it home before the kids were up for breakfast.

Sunday (4/5): REST
Or so I intend.  Between Easter and a wake, there's plenty of family activity packed into our day, so I expect to take a full day off from working out.

Now there's just one week left on my training plan.  Very few miles but lots of mental preparation.  Time to make it happen!

The Road to 26.2: Week 14

My poor neglected blog.  I'm working hard to balance my training with the seemingly endless life to-do list, but sadly, there isn't enough room for more frequent blogging, too.  Instead of dwelling on it and berating myself for not making the time, I'm going to accept it and move on.  While my posts are few and far between, I'm pleased that I've been keeping up with the weekly training summaries, as I like reading back over them to see how far I've come during this journey.  For week 14, the workouts happened like this:

Monday (3/9):  walk with my BRF.
I sorely miss our early morning runs while Emily heals her hip flexor, so I'm always glad when we can meet up for a walk.  A perfect start to the week and a great way to stretch out my legs after Sunday's 19-miler.
Tuesday (3/10):  5 mile run and strength work.
Wow, did my legs ever feel stiff at the start (and middle!) of this run.  My calves screamed until mile 3.5, and as a result, my pace was barely more than a crawl.  I kept reminding myself that my legs will be tired in the late miles of the race; this was good practice for continuing forward progress even when faced with discomfort.
Wednesday (3/11):  8 mile run.
When my early morning alarm sounded, I found an intensely foggy scene out my window.  An outdoor run was out of the question, and my brain revolted at the thought of 8 treadmill miles at 4:45am.  So I logged those treadmill miles at 1:15pm instead while my girls napped.  I've done plenty of 4- and 5-milers during nap time, but 8 is hard to squeeze into that window.  Lesson learned.

Thursday (3/12):  BRF walk, yoga, and strength work.
Another lovely morning walk with my BRF with yoga and strength work during nap time.  I made up my own yoga sequence, which (surprise, surprise) hit all the tight spots I'd been feeling.  So refreshing!
Friday (3/13):  5 mile run and strength work.
Slow, easy miles in a drizzly rain.
Saturday (3/14):  REST!
But not because I wanted to.  At the last minute, I was called into action to help my ailing grandmother, so my Saturday running window closed before I could lace up.  I was irrationally frustrated by the situation and wasted a great deal of mental energy being angry.  I finally set my negativity aside and enjoyed a sunny afternoon, including a highly anticipated fashion show with the girls.

J-Bug selected dresses, headbands, and shoes for all three of us.
We were all quite fashionable, she assures me.

Sunday (3/15): 12 mile run
Starting at 6:15 to squeeze it in before church, this run began in moonlight, included a brilliant sunrise, and ended in beautiful sunshine.  I felt strong throughout, both mentally and physically, and pulled off a strong finish for the final miles.  Especially considering that it didn't happen when or how I had planned, I'm very pleased with this long run.

You may notice strength work cropping up more frequently this week.  One of the lovely Strava BAMRs challenged us to try incorporating more frequent but shorter strength workouts during the month of March.  To my surprise, I've really enjoyed the mini workouts.  It's easy to fit in just 3-5 minutes of strength after a run or while waiting for the pasta to boil.  I'm enjoying a new approach to strength, as my tried-and-true routine was growing a bit stale.

Blue sky, sunshine, and not a speck of snow or ice.
Life is good.

I have just one more heavy week of training before the taper begins.  How did that happen?!  3.5 weeks to race day!

Thankful Things

Before this all-too-short season of thankfulness closes and we launch headlong into the season of excessive consumerism, I wanted to take a chance to remind myself of all the reasons I have to be thankful.  I need to remind myself that joy is a choice, and gratitude is a lifestyle.  Especially now, when events in our community are unstable and uncertain, I want to ground myself in the tangible reminders that life is good.

These little faces provide infinite reasons to be grateful.

In no particular order, I am thankful for:

• my body that powers me through long runs and hill workouts as well as the daily grind of motherhood.
• my husband, who appreciates what I do for our family and reminds me to laugh.
• my kids, who teach me the full range of human emotion.  From rapturous joy to unending frustration, they show me that life is meant to be lived to its fullest.
• my friends, both those in real life and those BAMRs I only know virtually through Strava.  They keep me honest, motivated, and accountable.
• the delay brew feature on my coffee pot.  The promise of coffee keeps my feet moving on cold, early morning winter runs.
• running and blogging.  Both provide outlets for me to relieve stress and enable me to focus on myself for just a little bit.

Just a few of the friends and family who help pull me through the daily grind of life.

 What are your tangible reminders that life is good?

A New Chapter

I had (have) beautiful, detailed plans for this blog. Scheduled posts. Timely subjects. Interesting perspectives. But life is preventing me from executing my plan. Kids refusing to nap. A broken washing machine. Mental exhaustion from major life changes. Mercifully, I've still had time to run, just not time to blog about running. If I have to choose just one, I choose to sweat, but I've missed blogging.

Back up a step.  Major life changes, you say? Yes, of the employment variety. Yesterday, I left a job I've held for the last 8.5 years. Though it wasn't ideal, it was a big part of my life for a long time, and the parting feels bittersweet. I've been preparing for this day for months, but I've been surprised by how mentally taxing the change has been. I'm sad to leave behind friends and work that I did well, but I'm looking forward to new challenges, new opportunities, and more time for my family. 

Deleting the work e-mail account from my phone.
A wonderfully liberating moment.

Moving onward, starting this new chapter of life, feels a little scary, like standing at the bottom of the hill with a full slate of hill repeats on deck. Looking up is overwhelming but strangely exciting. The climb(s) will be grueling but the rewards are sweet - the endorphin rush and badass feeling that only comes from conquering something truly difficult; from trying something that looks crazy to outsiders but that you know will make you stronger, faster, better. Today I stand the at bottom of this new hill, looking ahead and not knowing what awaits me at the crest. I'm excited and terrified, sad and elated, ready to start the climb and embrace the journey. 

Radio Silence...

Wow, I am sorry for the unexpected radio silence over the last 10 days.  Re-entry after vacation is always tough, but our post-cruise return was rockier than usual.  The last two weeks have seen a job change, a broken bone, and countless e-mails/phone calls/calendar maneuvering for back-to-school events.  I've wanted to post numerous times, but other obligations have taken priority.  The mother side of my mother runner identity is demanding attention, so sadly, the blogging must wait.  But I promise to post my cruise-running recap very soon.

In the meantime, how about a couple teaser pictures of the spectacular Alaskan scenery:

My photography skills don't do justice to the beauty of the Tracy Arm Fjord.

Lush green mountainside peeking through the clouds in Skagway, Alaska.

More soon, I promise...

Confessions of a Photo-Challenged Runner

Several months ago when I was considering potential blog topics, I decided to do a series of "seen on the run" posts.  I could occasionally snap pictures during a run and post them to give readers a glimpse of the view on my usual routes.  I had beautiful dreams and detailed plans.  Until I made a startling realization: I stink at taking pictures on the run.  I've taken exactly five pictures while running in 2014.  Five photos over the course of 400 miles; not a promising ratio.

On Strava, I see other runners post pictures of their runs, and I love looking at them.  It's fun to see their scenery, their running buddies, their shoe selfies, and their post-workout smiles.  So why has it proven so hard for me to follow their lead?  First, I'd have to stop running to take the picture, which would kill my splits and consequently drive my poor Type A brain nuts.  Then, I'd have to struggle with the armband that holds my iPhone.  This ill-fitting contraption is a sweat magnet and sliding my phone out and then back in mid-run should qualify as an Olympic sport.

My weak attempt at a post-treadmill run shoe selfie.
(My basement floor looks even nastier on film than it does in real life.
Note to self: do not photograph basement floor.)

Ok, Kate, we get it.  Photos on the run aren't your thing.  But you could certainly snap a shoe selfie or a happy post-run shot, right?  No splits to kill and no unnecessary fumbling with the armband.  In theory, this is absolutely a reasonable and wise idea.  But who wants to see my shoes week after week?  How many different post-workout selfies could I create that anyone would be interested in viewing?  My solution: leave well enough alone and allow others to dominate the running selfie game.  I have many talents, but running photography isn't one of them.  And I'm okay with that.

Are you an on-the-run photographer?  What tips can you share to help the photo-challenged folks like myself?

Getting Back in the Game

Well, this was certainly a longer pregnant pause than I ever imagined.  In the 18-ish months since I last posted, I gestated and birthed a baby, returned to running, found an amazing running partner, raced a 5k, 10k, and half marathon, and connected with mother runners all over the country thanks to Another Mother Runner and Strava.  Far too much to discuss in a single post...

I've been nagging myself for months to return to this blog, but as the days since my last post increased, so did my stress about posting again.  What could I possibly say after such an absence?  How could I write the most clever and poignant post ever to make the wait totally worthwhile?  An epic post isn't going to happen, so I will settle for owning my absence and moving on.

I could easily blame my lack of posting on being a busy mom of three.  For a long time, my gut response to the question "How have you been?" is to say "Busy but good."  I hate the word busy, and I'm trying to eradicate it from my brain and my vocabulary.  Life is obviously busy, and it always will be.  I want to retrain myself to answer that inquiry with the succinct but powerful mantra, "Life is good."  So I won't tell you that I've been absent because I've been busy.  You are surely busy too, and in spite of busy-ness, we make time for the things that matter to us.  Instead, I've been absent because I've been swept up in life, and life is good.  I'm back, and I will try my hardest to remain here.

Morning fog along Highway 21 in Lesterville

Last weekend, life was good on our annual family trip to Black River Lodge in Lesterville, MO.  I snuck out early Sunday morning for a run and was serenaded by birds and cows as I ran through a veil of fog.  This picture does not do justice to the peacefulness and beauty of the morning, but it was the best my sweaty fingers and the iPhone camera could manage.  The run was certainly not the easiest of my life, at least partially due to the s'more or two that I enjoyed the night before.  Nevertheless, it was lovely and freeing.  Life is good.

A Pregnant Pause

Not a goodbye; simply a see you later.

Still battling the day-long nausea and vomiting of pregnancy, I long to be out running again.  I see runners dart past my house, and I mentally cheer them on, wishing that I could jump in alongside them. However, this is a time of pause for me.  There is no way my unstable stomach could handle the constant jostling of a run; some days, I can barely manage a speed walk to the bathroom!

I expect this miserable state of pregnancy to end in early December, which is, admittedly, a terrible time for me to restart a running program.  I'm also unsure how my body will respond to running after so many weeks on the sidelines.  But I hope I take the chance to try.  Running does wonders for my mental health and gives me a sense of identity, which I sincerely miss.  I know I am still a runner, but my body and my brain ache to prove that by hitting the road again.

In the meantime, this blog may lie silent for a while.  I've meant to post so many times over the past few weeks, but my energy level is low, and it seems a bit pointless to post in a running blog when not running.  I'll be back, I promise.

The Best Time to Blog

When I'm out for a run, I compose the most eloquent and insightful blog posts.  They are witty and entertaining, not to mention poignant and thought-provoking.  Then somehow, when the run is complete, my brain draws a sudden blank.  Not only do I forget my clever phrases, but I can't even recall the basic subject matter on which they were based.

I blame Mommy brain.  After a run, I'm quickly thrown into the three ring circus that is my life, so all leisurely moments for independent thought evaporate faster than the sweat in my sports bra.  (Much faster in fact.  Probably time to invest in sports bras that weren't made in the 1990s...)

I love snarky ecards ;)

So I do my best to put some inspiring words in print here, but know that my best work probably stays in the recesses of my brain only to be released while out on the road.