Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Difficult, Not so Difficult

The last several days have not been as I expected them to be.  A week ago, I would have told you that the following things in my life were difficult:

1.  last Sunday's 10 mile run, my longest since my half in April.
2.  hanging out with my crabby, refusing-to-nap, cutting-four-teeth-at-once (it's a good thing she's cute) baby girl.
3.  cleaning brown crayon off an entire load of laundry, which of course, I didn't discover until after it had gone through the dryer.
4.  cleaning brown crayon out of aforementioned dryer.
5.  organizing logistics for two school fundraisiers and a parish event.

Now all of those things are utterly insignificant.  The only truly difficult thing in my life is watching my grandmother slip out of reality.  In her 101 years on this planet, she's always been sharp as a tack with a witty sense of humor, a strong will, and a generous heart.  Without warning, she's begun a rapid descent, experiencing frequent moments of vast confusion where she doesn't know where she is, who she is, or what she is doing.  Heartbreaking.

So in a matter of days, my priorities have vastly realigned, and my runs have become an absolute necessity.  They help me take a break from care-taking duties and give me a chance to clear my head.  As I met up with Emily this morning, I was so grateful for the chance to work up a sweat and to take control of something in life.  Today, as it so often does, running reminded me that I can do difficult things.  Like last week's 5k, sometimes I have to resign myself to the fact that life is hard, and all I can do is hold on for the ride.  And keep running to balance the stress.  Always keep running.

My Strava title for today's run says it all: controlling what I can control,
which these days, isn't much.